The Hero of Time advances slowly towards Ganondorf who is playing the organ menacingly. Princess Zelda, trapped in the crystal, asks him what he's doing.
"It's simple. I Skip you, Ganondorf, because I've got the Ultimate DLC! Let's see... Up, Up, Down, Right, C-Up!"
Ganondorf begins to scream. Everything turns white and Link and Zelda find themselves in the sky.
"Er... al...right?" Said the princess. "So Ganondorf's dead, Hyrule's saved..."
"Bla-Bla-Bla, can you take me back in time?"
"When we were children? Of course."
And so Link and Princess Zelda return to their lost childhoods. Hyrule is once again at peace. All's well that ends well. Too bad the player had to spend 30 quid on this so-called Ultimate DLC.